Not that I was an agnostic but it just did not occur to me that I could surrender and ask for help from a Higher Power. I thought it was my job to handle every thing and every one. I was almost a single parent. My in laws turned us away because of my husband’s drunken and angry outbursts. I did not let my parents know what was happening for fear of hurting them. There was unmanageability of every kind and there was a zero spiritual bank balance.
Physically, emotionally and financially broke, guided by a psychiatrist, I walked into the doors of Al-Anon to find a solution to the mess that my life had become. That was in 1997 and I have not looked back since then. The very first day I felt the presence of a Higher Power in that room among those people who were telling my story and were offering hope with a smile. I stuck there and took the first three Steps.
Then I met my Sponsor and continued. I don’t even know when Traditions and Concepts enveloped me in their gentle and firm embrace. I have continued with meetings on fairly regular basis, taking up service positions- from initially setting the chairs to currently serving as a delegate. I understand that I have to work my programme every day.
My family of origin is even more lovable, my in laws are not doting on me but I am not hating them. My workplace welcomes me and I like serving it even after my retirement. My adult daughters and I share our experience, strength and hope quite often. I still struggle with self pity at having lost my loved one to this disease of alcoholism. When people , places and things threaten to take away my joy and freedom I know I am only a Serenity Prayer away from my Source.
I stay in touch and enjoy the music of ‘keep coming back’ ! 🙂