Comfort in a Rough Place
“You are in a rough place right now,” my Sponsor said as we walked together before our meeting. I had asked him to meet me 30 minutes early to help me find some firm ground. My brother had died four days earlier, and my partner was spiraling into a drunken bottom of her own. Violence and chaos dominated my home life. Neither I nor my son felt safe in our home. I just wanted space for our shared grief and could find none. Even though I’d been in Al‑Anon eight years, I now found myself facing a new version of this baffling, cunning, and powerful disease at a time when I had no emotional energy to cope with it.
Still, my Sponsor’s simple words helped me find a little light and brought together all I had learned in Al‑Anon. Tradition Five states that Al‑Anon’s one purpose is “to help families of alcoholics” by welcoming and comforting them.
He welcomed me into the conversation by setting aside time on short notice to meet early. I mattered to him. He let me share what I was facing, just like we do at our meetings, without interruption. I rambled and cried, and he just let me. I felt comforted by his listening. He heard my pain and responded with how he saw me: “You are…” But he did not give me advice or tell me what to do. His quiet comfort gave me a little power in a situation where I felt powerless. I felt less alone, too—a key reason why we “Keep Coming Back” to our meetings.
At the time, I did not realize that his last two words were also crucial: “right now.” That period of time felt like forever while it was happening. It was overwhelming to feel so much all at once. But feelings aren’t facts. My Sponsor knew my feelings would pass eventually. They did. It wasn’t easy, but I bounced back better because of my program and its purpose of “welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics.”
By Charley B.
The Forum, October 2024
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.