This time last year, my life was unmanageable despite my alcoholic relative having almost two years of sobriety and being active in recovery. I was filled with anger, resentment, and confusion. I tried at all costs to bring about outcomes that I thought were best. I was operating on Jonathan’s power.
As I’ve heard, “our best thinking” gets us to Al‑Anon, and that was true for me. My low point was when I imagined receiving the family newsletter from my son’s treatment program; there would be pictures of families and stories of family recovery. I didn’t have that. If anything, I was trying to tell everyone else how to live their lives. In the end, I couldn’t stand to be with myself anymore. That’s when I felt led to Al‑Anon.
At my first meeting, all I could think about was how I could get the people in my life to do what I wanted, and that included getting my son to return home. I thought to myself, “If these people really knew what I was thinking, they would ask me to leave.”
After the meeting, someone reached out to me. I unloaded about all my troubles—“People aren’t listening to me,” I complained, and “Why can’t my son come home?” This person—who is my Sponsor today—asked me what my motivation was for my son to come home. I had no answer. He explained that Al‑Anon is about my disease and my recovery.
Fast forward a year, and I am now grateful for the community of Al‑Anon. I have a Sponsor, a home group, and I am working the Steps. This program is truly a gift. It hasn’t always been easy, but I can tell you it’s been worth it. I have learned and grown so much. Most importantly, I have learned that I am not alone, and I have learned how to love the alcoholics in my life.
By Jonathan M., South Carolina
The Forum, June 2021
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Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA